Bribery Fore Likes
by Omicron the IceQueen
Summary: When in doubt, bribe a mech with copper. More so the new ones to earth, it keeps them away from the humans they shouldn't be near and you might make a big-aft friend.


**Queen's Notes**: Pfft, so this is a super late christmas gift exchange and its shaping out to at least a few chapters long. Have the softer-sass side of Crosshairs and others. KSI has not happened in this, and its focusing on the new round of mechs getting integrated onto earth.

**Bribery For Likes**

Chapters One

The Bribing Start

If it was hotter, the mech would not be all that pleased, or if it was too cold. Not that he did not like the cold, but things seemed to be at just the right temperature. Enough for the lanky mech to sprawl and bask in the daylight, with just enough of a cold dip at night. What was the local term? Fall?

Weird planetary cycle terms, but then humans were strange. Just as weird and strange as Cybertronians he was found out. This new location was nice though, even if it lacked the snow in the last base-place he just left. That was more like a halfway resort to Crosshairs' optics, but it had been... fun not having to worry about Decepticons, his old commander- hell he even had a chance to actually meet the humans.

That chance at least, after his landing and meeting of some of the local armies... Crosshairs huffed. At first he had been ticked off at the fact that Ironhide insisted that he go to the recovery base, but once Optimus had agreed he held it in.

Turns out Optimus Prime and his Weapons Master/Officer knew what they were doing.

Who knew?

Crosshairs had the chance to decompress, actually get a few good recharges and full tanks of energon. It was amazing. Minor repairs were fixed and he was shamelessly allowed to flop in an oil bath in the lower levels of the base. As well as getting to know the locals, it was mostly the family members of the NEST humans, as well as those that were hired by the Autobots and humans. There were still some humans that worked as security with the mechs that did the same.

It was what helped redeemed humans to Crosshairs, and he had found himself starting to latch onto some of the kids and other civilians. He did like sparklings, not a whole lot at the same time, and human sparklings for the most part were not that different.

By the time Crosshairs was joining the active Autobots again, he was not as hostile to humans. Still did not fully trust most of them, as some reminded him of idiots back on cybertron (that Gallaway squawker for one), but he was quick to find out who the other mecha were relaxed around. Once he sorted that out. Plus the humans that were hired as support staff by the Autobots were easy to get along with, most of the ones the Wreckers hired had no shame in sassing a giant robotic life form.

Crosshairs blinked as he paused in his stretch, balancing on his perch, as he suddenly understood that most of the organics... humans that were employed by the Cybertronians or the 'grunt' types that 'worked longest with them did not have an ulterior motive.

"Really?" A voice demanded, it was to his right and lower to the ground. Light compared to most mechs but also...not.

"Gods, like a bunch of cats sometimes aren't they Mongo?" A second human voice, lacking a reverb or metallic edge. Two voices were enough for the green mech to stretch again and shift now, his makeshift perch was not that much of a great height as it turned out, only about 10 feet off the ground.

Mongo crossed his arms over his chest, mildly annoyed, but not really angry at anyone. Even then the annoyance was only half at the green and black mech sprawling over the supply crates. The strange new kind of armor, to him and other human members, spread out like a cross of a trench coat and stubby wings as if it would help Crosshairs absorb some of the near winter sunshine.

Stone was more annoyed that the new working crew had less backbone than he had thought. Really though, for most people it was not that hard to chase off a friendly mech. Or bribe them. Or do the little-sibling tactic and threaten to tell on them to Optimus, or worse: Ratchet and Ironhide.

Mongo gave a soft snort as the lazy mech arched and twisted into a position to stare at him and Stone with seemingly glazed optics. Definitely a new mech to earth, probably just came from the recovery base where injured Autobots and Wreckers went, as well as the new ones to earth to get used to things and humans.

"Hey mech?" Stone half asked, half called, watching as the green and black mech rolled his head to peer at them. "Get the frag off the supplies, or no copper goodies for you."

"...goodies?"

Mongo snorted at that as Crosshairs seemed to completely focus on the two humans, recognizing the surprised and hopeful expression. He waved at the mech's lower section, "Yep, can't make it with your ass on the supplies."

The Cybertronian sat up, some things creeking a bit under him as he shifted, "How can you make goodies? Energon or copper for that matter?"

Crosshairs squinted at the two humans, thought he recognized them as two who worked with Roadbuster's crew. Mongo, the name rang a bell so to say, he was taller than his friend by a head and shoulders, maybe one of the biggest humans Crosshairs had yet met. He was dressed in the odd but effective camo paints and a dull green shirt that was well worn as being one of the few things that properly fit would be, and a tan old ball cap over his shades.

The tattoos of all things on both humans had Crosshairs focus, he did not know humans came in multi color. Nor that they had what looked like... Cybertonian glyphs? There was some there, in an iridescent dark ink on the upper arms of the two men, yet they shifted just enough that Crosshairs could not read them.

"Hell yea we can make goodies, or at least help some of the other staff." Stone grinned, he was built not unlike his friend, not as tall but not...he looked like a grounder's protoform frame to the mech really. With the same camo patterned pants, slightly different boots and a grey shirt instead of green and a cap as well. Muted colors to blend into their planet's background, likely how Crosshairs' own striped markings oddly helped him.

The mech gave a huff, the knuckles of one hand on his thigh, over the panel that hid his holster by habit only. "And who taught you how to make goodies?"

"Teaching," Mongo corrected and willingly admitted, sharing a glance with Stone as he added, "Its Percy."

"...Perceptor?"

"Yeep, that's them." Stone grinned as he did not miss how the mech perked up, the way the mech shifted and sat up to alert. Crosshairs did not have as much extra kibble as most of the other Cybertronians, but there was an oddly cute way the clefted pedes flexed and almost wiggled. Not that Stone would admit that aloud.

"Perceptor is teaching humans how to make her goodies?" Crosshairs almost demanded, narrowing his optics for just a moment as the two humans grinned and looked at each other. Then he realized, "You have some of her energon goodies, don't you?"

"Yes," Mongo said honestly.

"Its bribery," Stone added, grinning wide now as he motioned to the crates, "Are you willing to be bribed? What you're sitting your aft on is needed to make future bribery and likely some parts Topspin wants."

"You're that shameless aren't ya?" Crosshairs asked as he shifted and then hopped up, shaking his over armor out.

"Kinda. Are you offended we're bribing you with food mech?" Mongo gave a snort and then asked, he and Stone were desensitized to Cybertronians to not flinch at the mass of metal giant moving. The taller man tilted his head as Crosshairs had to pause and think about that.

"...no..." azure like optics squinted at Mongo and Stone before Crosshairs said warily, "Not if I still get this food bribe...?"

"Well you can't be bribed if your heavy aft is parked on the supplies." Stone snorted as he pointed at Crosshairs, exchanging a look with Mongo before the men started to leave.

"What? Wait, no, come back here- I'm not sitting any- My aft is not heavy, I'm a light frame!" Crosshairs started, paused and then finally was a mix of offended and- why were the interesting humans just walking away?

"Oy!"

"Yeah, no bribery mech, not until you're fat ass is well away from there."

"I am not _fat_!" Why was Crosshairs offended at the term? Why did he care? Why did the paratrooper just… just… the mech realized that he liked the idea of at least a couple humans genuinely did not seem afraid of him, or wanting anything from Crosshairs. Or wanting 'access' to his frame like some seemed to imply outside of the NEST humans on base. _Those_ humans in particular had given Crosshairs the creeps down into his protoform's hide.

These two?

Sassing at a virtual giant compared to them seemed so natural and the feel that he was not some holy grail of parts but just... another aft-head they had to deal with.

Crosshairs started following the two humans, not fully aware of the curious chirp escaping him.


End file.
